Poems with Pride
These poems were originally published on the Bronzeville Bee, which has since ceased publication
A Non-Suicide Note of an Obviously Non-suicidal Coloured Girl when the Rainbow is Enuf
Sterile white hospital walls. Yet again.
Pale. Pure and perfect.
Not like me.
‘You getting help for that?’ the doctor spat
Gesturing to my chunky keloid scars
Bright pink against my brown skin
They stuck out just like me
I tried so hard to be good. To be white. To be straight. To be anything but me.
I see girls like you all the time. Spoiled rotten. Typical teenage shit.
They just didn’t get it – I had straight A’s. Played on the volleyball team. Worked part-time. Started a group for girls with low self-esteem, unironically. I was such a good girl.
They say it gets better but from where I sat how could there be a pot of gold at the end of this fucked up rainbow?
Red- Rage. I told my story over and over and over again to people who made no effort to understand me. Always thought they knew best.
Orange- my favorite colour at the time. Still is. Means I have a radiant personality.
Yellow- the colour of the bruises she left. She said she loved me. But don’t they all?
Blue- the colour of my lips when they found me and the hospital gown I wore for days
Black- I was told I was lesser. Tainted.
White- I learned I would never be pure and innocent. So why fucking bother?
To this day, I peer over the edge
And imagine it is quiet-
Imagine there is space, finally,
To hold all the queer, all the beautiful brown
All the me that is too loud, too much
But I stop myself; my work has only begun. There is always another kid –
Another Black kid
Another queer kid
Another queer Black kid
Peering over the edge too. Tonight, I want to tell them what I wish someone told me- Begin to read. Question. Think.
Stop laughing at shit you don’t find funny. Stop smiling when you’re uncomfortable.
Take the mic away from all those well-intentioned people who claim to have your best interests in mind but thought the world should hear it from them instead of you sweetheart.
Stop believing you are inferior. Stop treating your existence as an inconvenience. Your right to live trumps other people’s feelings.
They will call you a terrorist-
Aggressive
Divisive
When you stop eating the heaping bowls of shit they keep trying to serve you.
Don’t listen to them. They were never going to share their pot of gold.
I hate to admit it, after saying all that, I think about my last words and I stop myself-
There is a kid out there like me who needs to know they are not alone.
Believe in yourself, even and especially when no one else does.
The rainbow they keep telling you about? Comes after the storm, not before.
An Ode to the Radiant Black Woman I Saw on the Train
Black woman-
Do you know how beautiful you are?Your deep ebony reminds me of the galaxy,
Studded through with strs
The same ones our ancestors gazed upon
Before they were stolen
Black woman-
Do you know how beautiful you are?Rich earthy
Terracotta brown
The same warm brown of the calabash
The same salt of the earth they wanted us to swallow
But they didn’t know we are seeds
And we’re nourished in the dark
Black woman-
Do you know how beautiful you are?Cocoa butter brown
Smoothed into your skin
Let it melt
Turn your face toward the sun
The brilliance of your smile lights galaxies on fire, interstellar
Don’t ever let the white folks consume you
Black woman-
Do you know how beautiful you are?Everybody stop speaking
Everybody holds their breath
This brown goddess come to earth
Just sitting there
Like it ain’t no big deal she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve seen
Black woman-
Do you know?
Do you really know?All this glory
All this beauty
All this magnificence
It’s all you
Do you know? 40 Below Love Poem
Cocoa butter, shea butter
Soothes cracked brown hands like no other
Honey flavoured lip balm keeps kisses soft & sweet
Melanin rich against the hoarfrost
Can you feel that heat?
Afros & twists
Reaching out like spires to the frozen prairie sun
A prayer to the ancestors
Cursing ourselves for coming to this frigid, Godforsaken cold ass wretched place
Bags bags and more bags
Always carrying something
Not a set of wheels between us but that doesn’t stop us
Can’t forget nothing
Need to make sure your girl has everything
A kiss before we venture into our frosted palace